I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen." - Ernest Hemingway

"I think one lesson I have learned is that there is no substitute for paying attention." - Diane Sawyer 

Good listening skills are featured in almost every textbook on interpersonal skills.

Ways that we can show good listening:

   a. Make culturally and situationally appropriate eye contact

  b. Use body language and face the speaker, smile and nod, lean forward

 c. Make listening noises

 d. Be relaxed and open- avoid fidgeting

 e. Be emotionally open- no put-downs or judgement

 f. Follow the 50-50 rule (i.e. talk no more than 50% of the time)

 Another critical skill for good listening which could be listed separately is summarizing and reflecting back e.g. "So what I hear you saying is that you want A and B because of C and it’s really important not to have X because of Y and Z. Is that right? "

Also important is using a range of questioning techniques.

A good communicator should know how to use:

* open questions to get a person to open up about their feelings “How do you get on with your colleague?”

*closed questions to clarify understanding “Does he criticize you?”

* affective questions to invite sharing of feeling “How do you feel about working with him?

* probing questions to generate insights “ What aspects of your own behaviour might be relevant here?”

* reflective questions to encourage elaboration “You said you were having difficulties getting along with your colleague; what sort of difficulties?”

For excellent links on good listening skills see  The Free Management Library's site http://www.mapnp.org/library/commskls/listen/listen.htm

To learn more about good listening take Challenge One of the Seven Challenges:http://www.newconversations.net/communication_skills_workbook_challenge_one.htm